I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
