just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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