my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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