I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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