so explain again why im purple
no
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
