yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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