Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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