it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
