She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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