I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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