yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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