You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
