come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
