we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
