My hand turned me down
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
