Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
