He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
