ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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