Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
