Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
