He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
