There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
