i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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