i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i love accidental penises.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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