When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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