do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
