Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
