I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
