Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
