i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
