So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
