last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
is it fun? or sober?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
