I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
