i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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