you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
