she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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