Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
