I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
