so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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