she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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