I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
