So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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