You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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