found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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