I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
