Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
