i permit you to call me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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