Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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