Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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