so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
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