Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
did you just send me my own nude
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
